My Walk Towards Christianity

Hi, Everyone! I’m Jessica Nailor and I am Going Public!I know most of you may not know me, but I want to tell you a little about myself. I have always grown up in the church, but I never really liked going. My dad never went with us either, and that just made it harder for me. To me it was just what a good little Christian girl does. She goes to church, says her prayers, and acts ‘holier than thou’ when needed. I was labeled a Christian, but was I really inside? Nope! 

I can tell you one thing for sure I was not putting God first in my life and I hate to say this, but I was one of the shallowest people I know. Maybe I didn’t always say stuff like other people did, but inside a constant judgmental commentary went on. I based my worth on how others thought about me and I strived to fit in what I like to call “The Woodlands mold”. I wanted to fit in and have a boyfriend, have a couple Coach purses and wear Sevens jeans. I am not saying I am or was a bad person, I just didn’t always live my life the way I know God wants me to live it. Now for some people it seems like they have this changing moment in their lives and then they are Christians, but it wasn’t like that for me it was and still is a slow process that I continue each day. I always had wanted to be a woman of God; I guess I just didn’t quite care enough to make any effort.  

Well I know this may sound silly, but my life was touched in the form of a series of books. They were the Diary of a Teenage Girl Series about a girl named Caitlin. The books started off with a girl a lot like me. She was shallow, and really wanted to be ‘popular’. Well she got her wish, but instead of being happy, she started doing things like drinking alcohol, and she almost made some big mistakes with her new boyfriend. Anyway, she eventually becomes a Christian and I was amazed at how much happier she was even when life was getting really tough. She had to make some pretty hard sacrifices when she felt God was telling her to do something, but as you read through the whole series, you realize that their really was a reason for all the things she had to do for God, and she ends up being a lot happier.  

In result of reading those books, I went out and bought a new bible study book, where the main focus is allowing God to enter your life and guide you. I know it is something I am going to have to work on, but I have to let God take over my life and handle all my problems. I have really been trying to trust God with more of my life and work on letting him take over. I am still a shallow, judgmental person even as I sit here typing this, I know it’s going to take a lot more than a book, and a bible study to completely get rid of my sinful ways. But every little step is something, and I am just going to have to keep working on it. I have sometimes questioned God about things like why my dad still isn’t a Christian even though I have prayed for him so much, but I know this is all part of a plan that is so much bigger than me and I just have to accept that, even when I don’t understand it. I’m going to keep working on becoming closer to God and letting him lead the way, because I have a feeling things will be a whole lot easier that way! I just have to realize how much God loves me, he loves me more than any boy or even my parents.  

Thanks so much for reading my long rambling story, if you managed to make it this far without getting completely lost and confused then congratulations, because even as I re-read this thing to myself it not making much sense:).Lots of Love,Jessica